An Interview With Garlond Ironworks

Editor-in-Chief: Sima Qian

A wise man once said, there are centuries where no progress is made, and years when centuries of progress are made. We live in the latter. Eorzea is changing rapidly. While sorcerers and the aetherically gifted still dominate society in most of her cities, Magitek is rapidly gaining ground. Suffice to say, Magitek did not create the best of first impressions with most Eorzeans, whose introduction to the technology largely came in the form of destructive war machina piloted by Imperialistic soldiery void-bent on conquering their homelands.However, with the Garlean Empire now a moribund state, the machinery they once used to bring most of the world to its knees is now, ironically, being rapidly adopted by the very people who it was meant to subjugate.
Indeed, Eorzeans have come around to Magitek in the last few years, not just in its applications in warfare, but also in daily civilian life, as much of the heating, running water, and automated appliances common in today’s modern Eorzean homes are generated by Ceruleum power. To further explore the phenomenon of Eorzea’s ongoing technological revolution, I was lucky enough to secure an interview with two well-regarded employees of the Garlond Ironworks Company, founded by the titular prodigy and Imperial Defector, Cid Garlond, and principally responsible for pioneering Eorzea’s access to Magitek.The two employees I had the privilege to sit down with were the beautiful and mannerly Miss Sera Thea, and the stoic and stalwart Mister Graeme Sinclair. Invited into their office, and sitting together over a cup of tea, I began my inquiries: “Let us begin with the basics, would you mind telling my audience your name, your company, and the role you play within it?”Miss Thea replies first: “Certainly. I am Sera Thea - chief of security here at Garlond Ironworks. The safety of our employees and our goods is my primary concern, though of late I have been afforded enough freedom to safeguard the good people of Eorzea as well. Magitek is our domain, and it is an unfortunate reality of this star that not all who employ it do so with pure intentions.”Next, Mister Sinclair chimes in: “I am Graeme Sinclair. The deputy head of security beneath Chief Thea. I manage the day to day security at our outpost.”With introductions thusly covered, I move on to my next query: “Could you perhaps walk us through some examples of the magitek technology you pioneer and produce here at the Ironworks? No need for an exhaustive list, just some of the things you are most proud of.”This question seems to immediately ignite Miss Thea’s enthusiasm, and she responds quickly and eagerly: “Our airships are our pride and joy, of course - we've been pioneers in the field since our inception, and even today we stand head and shoulders above the competition. But... you know, I like to think our more modest inventions are just as important. Our ceruleum heaters, for instance, have spared a great many impoverished Coerthans from freezing to death. And of course, we've an ever-expanding line of toys to delight the children. I fear our catalogue is simply too vast to list.”I believe this reply to be meaningful, for in Eorzea, Magitek is traditionally (and understandably) assumed to be purely a force of destruction. However, the technology has vast applications beyond warfare, and Miss Thea’s pride in how her company has utilized it to provide comfort and simply joys to peoples’ lives is a telling example of how Eorzea’s perception of Magitek is beginning to change.In any case, I move on to my next question: “Traditionally, magitek technology has had very little presence in Eorzea for a variety of reasons, including the fact that the peoples' of this land have long relied on magic, more than technology, to better their lives. However, recently, I have noticed this has begun to change. Do you believe there has been an exponential increase lately in the prevalence of Magitek technology in Eorzean society lately?”This causes Miss Thea to light up and grin, nodding enthusiastically. “Oh, absolutely, and I couldn't be happier about it. The simple fact is that even some of the most rudimentary magic requires extensive training and practice. Its use is also inherently prejudicial - some are simply born with a great affinity for aether manipulation, while others are born with no potential for it all. Magitek, in my view, is the great equalizer. Anyone, no matter their experience or ability, can utilize our products to their fullest. I sincerely hope this trend continues, and long to see the day when magitek is ubiquitous in all corners of Eorzea.”Looking on thoughtfully, the taciturn Mister Sinclair finally chimes in again: "The sheer convenience is a big factor, of course… With the advent of ceruleum powered heaters, the Brumefolk will find their accommodations more appealing, for example.”These are all true and valid statements, and legitimate reasons to welcome new technology into our daily lives. However, the fact of the matter still remains that, the last time a society underwent a Magitek revolution, it caused a 50-year-old global war which saw lives ruined from Ala Mhigo to Doma. This leads me to my next question: “Outside of Garlemald, Magitek has a dubious reputation as the tool of the oppressor. What are some things Garlond Ironworks does to change Magitek’s image in the perception of the Eorzean public?”Understandably, Miss Thea and Mister Sinclair’s faces go solemn at this sobering question. Miss Thea replies first: “Mr. Qian, you've unwittingly stumbled upon the very reason I'm so passionate about our Security Department. The unfortunate truth is that, in some cases, magitek is still a tool of the oppressor. Only now, rather than being wielded by a single tyrannical Empire, it is wielded by countless bands of opportunists and rogues. Airships provide Eorzeans with boundless opportunity and freedom, but when one falls into the wrong hands, it is all too often used to commit acts of piracy. Similarly, magitek sold on the black market can become tools of terrorists and criminals to take innocent lives. I have personally taken it upon myself to change this. As manufacturers and distributors of magitek, it should also be our responsibility to /police/ its use. And I'm proud to say that our Security Department is making great strides in bringing sky pirates and other such rogues to justice.”Mister Sinclair nods eruditely: "It is my hope that our actions will show the people of Eorzea that Magitek is merely a tool - a means to an end. Where one uses theirs to harm, we will use ours to shield.” He replies pithily.I offer them both a nod at that: “Not inherently good or bad, a tool, which- as Miss Thea suggests, when properly policed and regulated, can be a useful and orderly way to improve our society, yes?”
Miss Thea grins, her levity returning: "That's absolutely right.”To cap off what thus far has been an enlightening and productive conversation, I posit a final thought-experiment to my two interviewees: “If Magitek continues to grow in popularity and common use at the rate it currently is, what do you think the cities of Eorzea will look like in say, 10 years? Or even further in the future?”Mister Sinclair surprises me by answering almost immediately, evidently, this is a question he has paid a lot of thought to before. “Already, Ironworks outposts and stations make use of Perimeter Nodes to handle inventories, process information, among other tasks… With enough time, Garlond Ironworks will be supplying businesses from Highwind Skyways to Naldiq & Vymelli's with the tools they need to increase production greatly. Really, this sort of equipment has existed in Garlemald for a number of years. We aim to make it more affordable for the Eorzean public.”Progress and prosperity is the picture Mister Sinclair paints of a technologically advanced Eorzean society in the near future. Miss Thea, however, takes on this question with an angle focused more on reassurance: “Speaking of Garlemald, I suspect a lot of people are concerned that the increasing prevalence of magitek will ultimately result in Eorzea becoming its spitting image. But come on - can you imagine a dour gray skyscraper in the middle of Ul'dah? No, I believe the changes magitek ushers in will be rather more subtle. Over the next ten years, I foresee great strides in sanitation, irrigation, communication... you know, there's this thing called a 'toilet' on the horizon that I really think people are going to love, but it's probably best if we don't get too specific about that.”
I laugh. “I think I’ll stick to my dirt hole in the ground, thank you very much.” At that, I conclude the interview.Overall, I was thoroughly impressed with the thoughtful, articulate discussion that I had with Miss Thea and Mister Sinclair. Moreover, their unilaterally positive, if cautious attitude they have taken towards the technologification of Eorzean society has left me pleasantly optimistic about the future. If Eorzea is to become a land of steel and ceruleum, I truly believe that men and women like Miss Thea and Mister Sinclair will lead such a transition in the van, and ensure that it results in the improvement of common lives, rather than the empowerment of the corrupt.

The View From Below - The Final Payout

Staff Writer: Susuni Suni

Those of you who have been in the writing business for a while know that it is not always so lucrative of a trade that you can, say, afford to eat. There are two real solutions to this, become famous and rich, or take on side jobs.Before you bring it up, there is a third solution, which is to starve to death. This will solve the basic problem, and oddly enough actually increases the odds of becoming a famous and rich writer. Despite that, and for reasons best left to the reader to deduce, it is not the preferred option among the three.These side jobs are many and varied. Writing obsequious and largely incorrect family histories for nobles to impress their peers with is a popular one. Sometimes a good idea for a book will fall into your lap independently and can be turned into a reasonable income. I’ve been paid to write love poetry for tongueless youths to woo a desired paramour. I’ve been paid to write good and bad reviews for inns, taverns, blacksmiths and tailors. I’ve been paid to write scathing letters to disfavored relatives to detail the full range of their personal shortcomings. It should surprise nobody that I was particularly good at the last one.In this case I was hired to find somebody. The difficulty being it was not a particular somebody, but an unknown person who matched a few traits. Just to make it more difficult, it was possible this person didn’t exist. But, I’ve done worse things for 200 gil a day plus expenses, and I wasn’t exactly busy at the time.To explain who this person was we have to go back to the Autumn War. This event was a nasty little war about eighty years ago where Ala Mhigo invaded Gridania, personalities got involved, and the modern world was more or less established. It was a seminal event (mind out of the gutter, you) in history, but if you’ve not heard of it don’t worry. It’s one of those things in the past that makes the present too complicated if you think about it too much.Anyway, the Autumn war led off with the Grianians getting crushed due to the aforementioned personalities getting involved, followed by a period of blind panic on the part of the Seedseers. Being worried about possible further aggressive expansion by Ala Mhigo if Gridania were to fall, the other three city-states got involved. Ul’dah followed their usual approach for dealing with problems in that they sent a pile of gold to Gridania that was so big it needed a special ship to transport it.Even in their blind panic the Seedseers realized that they couldn’t use gold to pay trees to fight for them. Gridania’s own army being recently reduced, they put out a call for mercenaries, pointing to a pile of gold they were sitting on. Not surprisingly this was very effective, and soon Gridania had addressed their army problem.Since people have said I have a fantasy-prone personality (which is a nice way of saying I lie a lot), I am the wrong person to learn history from. As such, I’ll summarize the war: The Ala Mhigans lost, but it was closer than you might think. All the city-states get along famously now, like a huge family in a small house over the holidays where drinking and expressing grudges are the main entertainment.Anyway, remember that pile of gold the Gridanians had? The mercenaries did and they asked for their payment when the war was over. This being Gridania and not Ul’dah, they actually used it to pay the mercenaries, and everybody went off happy.For those who are unfamiliar with how mercenaries get paid in wartime, it’s often based off the idea of “shares”, similar to how the pirates…er…merchants in Limsa Lominsa divide up the spoils from those totally abandoned ships they so often and inadvertently find at sea. Everybody is assigned a certain number of shares as determined by their rank, job, and special awards for something noteworthy they may have done. You total the shares, divide the pay by that amount, and that’s everyone’s payout per share.If you have the misfortune to die during the event, your share is still paid out, it just goes to the next of kin, assuming those running the mercenary company are that honest. Mercenary companies may be noted for a failure to pay much attention to rules, but among their own there is a standing rule to not mess with the money. You are, after all, talking about a group of heavily armed people who fight for a living. Taking that which they’re fighting for is seldom a good idea.These payouts to the next of kin are generally referred to as a “Final Payout”, and it’s not unknown for them to get an additional share or two thrown in as compensation for the family. It’s a small price to put on a person’s life, but mercenaries are a fatalistic lot when it comes to these things.Somebody from the mercenary group will be selected to be the Final Paymaster and handle these final payouts. This involves tracking down families and giving them their due. In most cases these are easy, as a list is kept of these names for just such events. In the rare case where that person also died, you just keep following family until you find the closest survivor.Every now and then you wind up with a hard one though. Wyatt Farr was one of those cases.Wyatt didn’t list a next of kin, though some swore he said he had a brother somewhere. The notes on his enlistment papers said he was nineteen when he signed on, and twenty when he died. He was apparently reliable, well-liked, and good company. He showed up with a sword, shield, and a decent suit of mail, though none of these survived his death. His cause of death was listed as “magic”, with no more details provided.It wasn’t much to go on. In fact it was so little to go on that the Final Paymaster was not able to solve it despite many years of trying while also living his life and raising his family. He passed it on to his son, who took it equally seriously and spent his own years trying to find anybody related to Wyatt Farr who had the advantage of simply being alive. He was equally unsuccessful.The man who contacted me was the grandson of the original paymaster. That got my attention, in that one family would pursue a singular duty to the point it became a tradition. Unfortunately, he was just a young man in his twenties and hadn’t the slightest idea how to do anything that his father and grandfather hadn’t already done. His father, he said, was not in good health, and there was something about this one errand that ate at him and he wanted to see it completed before he passed.We spent a few days reviewing the records from prior attempts, and I was impressed at the lengths that the family had gone to trying to locate this one next of kin. They’d gotten close a few times, only to find a dead end with no surviving heirs, and only hints and rumors of cousins and nieces scattered to other lands.He also showed me the payout, showing me particularly that the seal had never been broken, even if the original bag was in such bad shape that the coins were kept in another separate bag. When he showed me the coins inside it got even more interesting.When Ul’Dah sent the gold to assist Gridania it was before the standard gil was a coin. Ul’dah did a special striking of “war coins” for this one event, so they could track where they were spent. Once the war was over most of these were taken up and reminted into normal gil, and only a very few of them remained. Beyond their gold content, they were valuable collectables, and the payout bag contained more of them than were otherwise known to be in existence. It was in short, a fortune within a fortune.I did realize that one thing nobody had done was walk the farms and talk to the old farm families. I can understand why, since this is a tedious activity involving an enormous amount of travel and trying to coax information from people who are not terribly trusting of those from cities.It was here that I had an advantage over the prior investigators though, in that I was raised on a farm and could drop enough names of my own that it didn’t take a lot of effort to get people to open up. I do a lot of travel anyway, so it became a hobby of mine. Using the family names he provided I was able to fill in a few others, almost always to dead ends, but sometimes gaining another name.Which eventually led us to Adora Elwynn, who was a twenty-two year old woman living on a Limsan farm with her husband and toddler. She was also the great grandniece of Wyatt Farr, a man and a name she’d never heard.He had asked me to come along to help answer questions about the family line and how we got to her. He also thought lalafel are inherently disarming due their stature and cheerful reputation. I did point out that only applied outside of Ul’dah, since in Thanalan the unexpected arrival of a lalafel likely means you’ve just had your house foreclosed on.She didn’t initially believe our story, but we were able to show the paperwork going back to barely legible scribbles on yellowing paper, and they eventually realized we were not trying to scam them with some convoluted inheritance ploy. I explained the nature of the coins themselves, as well as their special value, and provided the name of a broker who could sell them on the collectible coins market. I also gave them his estimate of the total value of the bag, which wound up being a number beyond her conception. They offered us lunch, and it was very good.It did sink in that we had given her a life-changing amount of money, courtesy of a man who died before her father was even born, while fighting in a war she’d never even heard of. To say she was stunned would be to underplay it.I do not have a good view of people. I’ve seen normal people turn vicious the moment they miss a meal. I’ve seen good people make colossal and disastrous mistakes due to inexperience, neglect, or a moment of avarice. I have learned that when faced with a sudden turn of events, a person’s first reaction is often the best guide for how things will go.In Adora’s case I knew it would be okay when she set the bag of coins aside and turned to us instead to ask “Wyatt…what can you tell me about him?”

• Front Page

Going Coocoo for Kukuru!

Staff Writer: Syrenead Tormelodos

With Valentione’s passing and Hatchingtide fast approaching let us take a moment to discuss chocolate and where it comes from. There are two main types of chocolate, dark and milk. Many will argue that white is also a chocolate, but it is missing a key component that makes it chocolate. That component is kukuru solids. It is a part of the chocolate family, but like a distant cousin and that doesn’t make it any less tasty.Where does chocolate come from? It comes from the Kukuru Plant, more specifically the Kukuru beans. You can often find these plants growing in a tropical climate as they thrive in humid and lush environments. Smaller than most trees, they produce flowers directly on the trunk and older branches. Eventually, these flowers become the large pods that are filled with the beans or the nibs that are encased in a white pulp. When these beans are fermented, they become the main ingredient for chocolate making. It takes about 1200 seeds to produce two ponze of chocolate and the pulp is used in juices, smoothies, jellies and creams. It, too, can be fermented into an alcoholic drink.Kukuru seeds can be roasted and ground into a powder which is used in baking or in a hot drink we all know and love as Hot Chocolate. Kukuru powder dissolved in dairy has a better chance of dissolving than that with water, this is due to the fat content that is in the powder which causes it to be hydrophobic, or afraid of water. There are many plant based powders that are like this and it takes a while for them to dissolve in liquids; hotter liquids being better than cold ones.Chocolate is well known to improve moods, as well help with blood systems. It opens up the vessels and allows blood flow more freely through the body. In dark chocolate, because it contains more cocoa and less sugar, it seems to be the most beneficial when it comes to aiding the body in things that may cause inflammation. As it doesn’t contain dairy, it will also not trigger any stomach issues related to milk allergies unlike milk chocolate which has a form of milk or milk solids mixed in during it’s creation.So when you offer your beloved a chocolate, and when you are on the receiving end of an offering of chocolate, remember that this person not only cares enough to give you a delicious sweet treat to make you smile, they also care about your health subconsciously. Happy Belated Valentione’s Day and Happy early Hatchingtide.

Cats in Cowboy Hats

Staff Writer: Xanatos Tiva

[[This paper contains OOC terminology/themes so should be considered a semi-IC article! We hope you enjoy reading it.]]Today's adventure took myself and my partner into a place you just don't find too often without going looking for it. The Kitty Twister is premier Honky Tonk on Crystal, filled with some of the most lively Blues, Country, and Classic rock you are going to find. The staff are always warm and welcoming and so are the patrons!My partner and I had already been to this particular spot many times and were quite excited with Miss Teagan Hale was willing to talk with us and share the story of how this wonderful place came to be, and hopefully by the end, we might see yall there! As my partner was the one to come up with the idea, we decided to change things up and she took the lead here.But without much further ado, this was our conversation:NM: “Hi! Thank you so much for agreeing to do this interview with us.”TH: "Happy to!"NM: "Wonderful. Would ya like to take a seat or are you comfortable as you are?"TH: "We can sit down! That way y'all boots don't get it in 'em to start scootin' on that there dance floor!""Aye, well please, wherever ya'd like!"TH: "So I cain't imagine what folks wanna interview our lil' ol place fer, but i'm more 'an happy ta do it!"“Well I thank ya for letting us come again, the Torri Times was quite happy ta hear about yall, though....myself and miss Ny definitely may have sold it with how much fun we have had here."TH: "Well, there ain't no better place t'be! At least that's what all the regular folks say anyhow!"“And we would agree, wouldn't we Ny?" He chuckled. "But if we are ready we can get right inta it. I think Miss Ny will be taking point here, so whenever you are ready!"NM: "Why I sure would! Always a pleasure ta come by and try your 'Meal or No Deal ' challenge or scoot the night away. I did wanna ask ya a few questions I prepared - Now I know ya' co-owner with Toshi, but could ya tell me a bit about what brought ya'll to dream up and create this charming place?"TH: "Well, it's kinda a funny story… I met Toshi when I was a hype girl for DJ Gundam and 2.0. I came up with the whole Beach Bash thing, to help promote them when they first got started, and Toshi was a regular. We became fast friends, and stayed friends when I moved on and started up a nightclub called Gemini. After I got that place off the ground, I stepped away. But durin' that time, Toshi had asked me what I thought about him makin' a country music bar...So I started advisin' him on it, and helped him get a plan together. After Gemini and I parted ways, he ran into me in Limsa, an' asked me to come check out his apartment that he'd been decoratin' to start his dream bar. Soooo, I follerd him home, an' saw what he done with the place, an' I fell in love right away! I went to my apartment right after, and recreated it, with a few changes I mentioned to 'im...like, the Stage fer example...We fixed his place up, an' decided to open that night!""That night?"TH: "Wadn't but a coupla days later we was upgradin' to a Small House...an' then here! The rest, as they say's, history!""That is pretty incredible!"NM: "My! Quite the path ya' took ta get here but it sure seems like it has only blossomed from there!"TH: "Toshi always knew me as someone that got stuff done....so when 'e needed me ta help 'im git 'is dream did, 'e callt me!"NM: "Brillient. Now, for our readers, Can ya’ll please tell us a bit ‘bout what ya’ll do here at the Kitty Twister, please? "TH: "Well...lemme see here. We're jus' a good ol' fashin Honkytonk! We got us the ol' Jukebox loaded up with all sorts of kinds o' Country, Classic Rock, Southern Rock, Blues. We sometimes invite bards to come play here. We love havin' folks come an' perform fer the guests. We also got us a select group of DJ's we'll invite every once in a blue moon jus' to shake thangs up. We got us full table service an' bar...fer the folks that jus' wanna listen ta the music an' relax while they socialize. We also offer the ol' Meal or No Deal burger challenge! We don't make much in the way o' profits, cause everythin' we earn gets put right back inta the communities pockets with differen't contests, or events we organize an' host.”“Im gonna be trying that meal or no deal some time soon!"TH: "Neither of us got inta this to make no gil. We jus' wanna provide an alternative to the normal 'nightlife' scene most folks are familiar with."NM: "I heard ya'll had a chapel for rent too? And something about you becoming a DJ, yourself?"TH: "Well, we got us the "Kitty Hitcher" chapel where we provide bondin' ceremonies! We got the idear cause we was always gettin' invites to friends weddins, but the dang ol' church didn't let foreigners innit...so we was like...lets make a alternative where we let folks come in, no matter where they's from! As fer bein' a DJ, I'm jus' a small fry. I love goin' out dancin', an' when I listen to a lotta these DJ's, they're all playin' the same kinna stuff, an' that ain't what i'm used to when it comes ta dancin' music, so I play stuff I like shakin' my tail to instead. But it ain't fer everyone.""Few things are, I reckon. But I imagine your stuff must be fairly good!"NM: "Aw, 'The kitty hitcher', how sweet, that just warms ma' heart ta hear! Now going back a little ways, can you tell us a might more about ya'lls community involvement, please? Any up coming plans or event ya'd like to invite our readers to ?"TH: "I've always loved music! When I was helpin' hype an' promote DJ's, I was always givin' them advice on what kinna songs to git. Oh goodness. Well, I been meanderin' around the 'scene' fer a while now, so....I know lots o' folk...I'm real good friends with a coupla....guess you'd call 'em community leaders...Folks who organize events. I started out helpin' them...an' then started organizin' our own. We had quite a few so far this year...an' we got a bunch planned or in the works at the moment. An' we're workin' with The Cuddlebugs fer some giveaways an' community gifts." We also participate in Mogstock every year, as well as other events.""Well, Miss Teagan, before we wrap things up, I always liek ta ask if ya got any stories or tales from running this place that just aalways stick with ya or that ya find rather humorous and dont mind sharing?"TH: "Oh my. Every night in here's a adventure...I cain't even think o' where t'begin....I reckon...Cotton-eye Joe. We got us a tradition here...an' when that songs comes on, everyone gets up an' line-dances...well, Ms. Celeste was convinced there was some feller out there runnin' off with other fellers ladies....then one day...Cotton-Eye Joe an' Cotton-Eye Joleen came a callin'. There was so much hootin' an' a hollerin', thought we was gonna hafta call the law!"NM: "That sounds like a hoot and a half!"TH: "But every night' jus' about, there's some craziness happenin'. Our regulars been comin' fer months an' months, barely missin' a night...an' it's jus' been an evolvin' tale 'tween alluvem since we opened up."“I see! Well I thank ya for ya time, Miss Ny you got anything else to add?"NM: "I think that is all that I got for now...Thank you again for hosting us and answering our questions. It has been a real pleasure ta speak with ya. If you think of anything else you would like to add or if Toji has something to share with us, please just tomestone me before the 14th and I'll add it in to our story. We wont take up any more of ya time tanight, but I hope to see ya 'round real soon."TH: "We always wanted folks to feel like they was home away from home when they came by...an' seein' the same ol' faces comin' on through every night speaks volumes.""Well I can say, ya definitely made us feel right welcome."NM: "I noticed ya always greet, everyone who comes in that door. Mighty friendly."TH: "Well, if y'all think of anythin' else, jus' holler like there's a turtle in yer toirlet! I'd be happy to answer any follow-up questions y'all might have!"NM: "Purrfect. Thank ya so much. We gotta run for now but will be scooting back soon."The rest of our night was spent drinking good beer and dancing till we had to limp on home. Miss Teagan took over the jukebox and the whole place was moving with her energy and I cannot wait to see how her aspirations of becoming a DJ go. Myself and my partner will definitely be back and you're quite likely to see us if you ever decide to have a truly wonderful night out in a wonederfully laid back Honky tonk.Located in The Goblet at Malboro, ward 14, plot 8 and open every Sunday and Wednesday, there is no better way to spend an evening. A warm thanks to the wonderful Miss Hale for her time and willingness to share these tales.All stories must end….but may the dust never settle on this unique twist on the club scene, The Kitty Twister !